I have periods where, you know, when I feel a little weak or depressed. Fuck it! The Wheaties aren’t going down right. I just go to bed for three days and four nights, pull down all the shades and just go to bed. Get up. Shit. Piss. Drink a beer down and go back to bed. I come out of that completely re-enlightened for 2 or 3 months. I get power from that.
I think someday…they’ll say this psychotic guy knew something that…you know in days ahead and medicine, and how they figure these things out. Everybody should go to bed now and then, when they’re down low and give it up for three or four days. Then they’ll come back good for a while.
But we’re so obsessed with, we have to get up and do it and go back to sleep. In fact there’s a woman I’m living with now, get’s around 12:30, 1pm, I say: “I’m sleepy. I want to go to sleep.” She says: “What? You want to go to sleep, it’s only 1pm!” We’re not even drinking, you know. Hell, there’s nothing else to do but sleep.
People are nailed to the processes. Up. Down. Do something. Get up, do something, go to sleep. Get up. They can’t get out of that circle. You’ll see, someday they’ll say: “Bukowski knew.” Lay down for 3 or 4 days till you get your juices back, then get up, look around and do it. But who the hell can do it cause you need a dollar. That’s all. That’s a long speech, isn’t it? But it means something.
5 episodes in, I realised I haven’t introduced it on my blog yet. I have posted the episodes yet forgot to mention its platform. I have been fascinated with this medium of expression for months and couldn’t wait to integrate my thoughts into my own podcast.
And now it’s here. The audio isn’t great yet but I love that I have another method to discuss my views on the things that make life as fascinating as it is for me. I want this to be a way to keep a conversation going. That is why I want to post them here. To further grow a community here and keep a discussion running for as long as I keep sharing it. The podcast is on iTunes and the Podcast app, as well as on Soundcloud and ,of course, here. And needless to say, it’s free.
This is a more personal twist for me, so I wanted to share the environment I create this in.
A few months ago, I made a list of things I wanted to accomplish. This is how I’m doing.
I wanted to upgrade my predicted grades in order to get into the university I wanted. Last month, however, I had an interview with a university I viewed as an impossible goal. I was told I would hear from them in at least a month. The next day, I got accepted. This means more due to the fear university caused me. I was so afraid of not being good enough. I started looking for work experiences and internships in Mexico at a radio station. I will still love to do it. But this time, when I do, it won’t be out of the immense feeling of being lost and not feeling worthy of a next step in my life.
I wanted to start photography. I am currently struggling financially and therefore will not be getting a camera any time soon. My phone doesn’t have enough storage either but I am making the most of it. I have made physical copies of all of my favourite photographs. And more importantly, I started a podcast: A different medium of expression.
The next few goals were about eating and sleeping. I haven’t been strict on them but I listen to my body now. So, I eat and sleep when I need to and when I want to, while going for options that benefit me.
Reading. I have been reading more. Not as much as I would like to, but definitely more.
I wanted to keep writing on this blog. And I have. I am happy that I have been prioritizing my happiness and the things that keep me excited.